It's a WHAT!
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Sometimes Jo was certain Lightning didn't know what gender their child was. 'if they had a kid' drabble thing. Chapter two: Lightning and Jo are ecstatic to find out that their daughter is becoming a school bully... even if they're the only ones.
1. It's a What!

_A/N; Banette suggested the name for me, so this is for her. There was this 'if they had a kid' meme thing going around on tumblr and I decided to start doing a drabble thing for Joning on it. Because it would be cute to see them as a little three person family.  
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_Summary: Sometimes Jo was certain Lightning didn't know what gender their child was. __'if they had a kid' _drabble thing.  


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_**It's a... WHAT?!**  
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Sometimes Jo was certain Lightning didn't know what gender their child was.

She guessed it was hard for the Bonehead that she had an undefined relationship with since he was calling it "he" since the second he found out that it was in the womb. And then when the time came for it to be born (after she'd spent numerous hours cursing his name), the words "it's a girl" were too much of a shock for him to hear.

"Sha-scuse me?" He had been reeling, doing a complete double take at the news. "It's a WHAT?"

Jo wasn't sympathetic at all. "You heard her Jockstrap. It's a baby girl and you're a father. Congrats. Ever do that to me again and I'll personally castrate you."

Lightning wasn't even half interested in that threat. The pro-quarterback was just shaking his head and pacing. "Sha-no way is that true. It's gotta be a boy."

"Look, I'm not in the mood to deal with this Lightning. But if you have a problem with your daughter, you can get over it yourself." she didn't know what his issues were with girls anyway. Him and his 'team guy' or whatever. She would've thought after all these years she had taught him a thing or two about how much stronger girls were to guys but apparently not.

"So what are you going to call her?" the nurse was asking.

"Lightning Two!" Lightning said striking a pose.

"Don't you mean Lightning the second?"

"Nope. I mean Lightning Two."

"Haven't you heard the expression Lightning doesn't strike in the same spot twice?" Jo liked confusing him.

"What has that got to do with...?"

Jo sighed and decided to be frank with him. "We're not calling her Lightning Two."

"Well whatever it is, it's gotta be strong. It's gotta be powerful. Sha-yeah. No son of ours is gonna be some sha-weakling with a wussy name like Cameron."

"Daughter, Lightning. You have a daughter. That's usually what 'it's a girl' means dumbass."

Lightning wan't listening however, he was deep in thought. "How about Tornado? That's big and strong and knocks down everything in it's path. Sha-bullsye!"

"What are we naming? A child or a natural disaster?"

"What's the difference? Our kid'll be ten times better than a natural disaster!"

"You do realize you just insulted our child."

"Sha-yeah!"

Jo wasn't going to explain to her protein pumped partner that an insult wasn't a good thing. She considered the name Tornado and then ruled it as a torturous name for the young kid who would already have enough to live up to with Lightning as her father. "We're going with Terri. A nice simple name that doesn't have anything to do with uprooting people's houses."

Lightning's brow creased heavily. "Terry? I thought you said it wasn't a sha-dude."

"It's a girl's name sha-Clueless."

"Lightning ain't heard of no girls named Terry."

"Well now ya have, Bonehead. Enjoy it. You have a daughter named Terri."

Now that Jo thought back on it, maybe it was partly her fault that Lightning had so much gender confusion over the years. It wasn't as though she dressed their daughter in pink ever and Terri ended up having so many game balls in her room that it was starting to look like a sports equipment closet. But it was sweet to see Lightning be the doting father, even if he doted on her by getting her a new team jersey every year.

And even if he spelt her name wrong repeatedly for eight years running.

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_I don't know how Lightning would get by without Jo explaining things to him sometimes...  
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	2. She's a What!

_A/N; I had this plot bunny floating around. Their kid would be a pretty horrible person between the influences from both Jo and Lightning. But amusing. It'd be like Lightning and Jo along with Alejandro and Heather creating the ultimate bullies. Mwhahahaha.  
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_And this is yet another reason why Joning is perfect together, their agreement on child rearing._

_Summary: Sometimes Jo was certain Lightning didn't know what gender their child was. __'if they had a kid' _drabble thing. Chapter two: Lightning and Jo are ecstatic to find out that their daughter is becoming a school bully... even if they're the only ones.

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Even though she hadn't been named Tornado, Terri was still nicknamed Tornado at school for leaving a wake of destruction in her path. She didn't make friends and found every opportunity to be as hostile as ever that she could. Eventually enough got to be enough and Lightning and Jo were sent in to speak with the Principal about their daughter's behavior.

"Terri hasn't exactly been the most exemplary student at this school."

"Is it because she's an idiot? Because if so, that's all the result of Muscles for Brains here beside me," Jo jabbed her elbow into Lightning's side.

"No," the woman behind the desk shook her head. "Her grades are fine, quite average. No, we've been concerned about her treatment of some of the other students."

Jo raised an eyebrow. "What's the problem?"

"It seems she's been picking on some - well, most of the other students. Not just in her grade either, students in all grades."

"Yes!" said Lightning raising a hand which Jo high-fived. "That's our girl. Sha-yeah!"

Jo was grinning too. "I always knew she was going to amount to something. Who's she been targeting? The four-eyes? The fatties? The weenies?"

The Principal was baffled. "I don't think you guys understand how serious this is."

"Yeah, we understand," said Lightning proudly. "Our girl is head of the school. Sha-no one picks on her."

"_Your girl_ is causing a lot of problems. Some of the other students are even too afraid to go to school because of her."

"Well that's their own problem that they can't take a little criticism. Terri wouldn't bother saying anything if there wasn't something wrong with them in the first place." Jo crossed her arms and gave the Principal a steely look. "She's a smart girl. Takes after her mom." _Naturally_.

"The person with something wrong with them is your daughter."

"Uh-uh. Ain't nothin' sha-wrong with our girl."

"Yeah, clearly it's the other people with the problem since they're the ones who are making themselves an easy target." Jo agreed, backing up her other half.

"Are you two even listening to yourselves? Your daughter needs help. She needs to learn to be more sensitive to others. This is an integral skill for navigating-"

"You listen to me," Jo cut in. "We're not going to raise some overly-sensitive crybaby just because you want us to. And if Terri is making some other crybabies cry then that's their problem. They need to toughen up."

"Evidently I'm not going to get through to either of you about how your daughter needs a change in behavior."

"That's right you're sha-not," said Lightning.

"But I hope you can realize that we're going to have to suspend Terri for the next few days and get her some counseling sessions for next week."

Jo tried to get this straight. "So she gets punished just because a few students can't handle someone telling them that they're a loser?"

"No, she gets punished because she's damaging the emotional well-being of the students at this school."

"That sucks. What are we even paying you for? Let's get out of here Lightning." And so the two of them up and left the meeting. It was probably time for Terri to change schools.

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_Good parenting - sha-yeah.  
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End file.
